Sister Patsy’s On the Web

Yes, Dear Ones, it’s finally happened.  Sister Patricia S. Pettyminder is on the web.  The younger Pettyminders helped me get set up here, but it’s up to me to provide the wisdom, or “pearls” if you will, that make this blog meaningful.  That is no small job.  Even for me, a seasoned veteran of the Sunday School front lines, committee chairperson, and Women’s Ministry leader extraordinaire.  Not that I’m bragging, understand, just outlining the breadth of the responsibility here.

So, I’ve decided to start off with some excerpts from some of my completed projects.  This will give me time to get my thoughts together and get comfortable with this whole blogging on the web idea.  With that in mind, I humbly offer a few excerpts from my little booklet, Pearls for the Preacher.  Enjoy.

The Meet and Greet Line After Church

Everyone wants to shake hands with the preacher after church.  This is a wonderful thing.  The only advice I have is to keep it moving.  Some of us have things in the crockpot right now getting soggy and unpleasant.  And don’t get me started on the line at Ryan’s once church lets out.  Wait too long and you can go straight to evening service from your lunch.  Nobody wants that. 

 

More  About the Meet-and-Greet

Don’t let yourself get drawn into answering obscure theological questions, or pressed into offering immediate intercessory prayer for a member’s extended family.  A quick handshake and “God bless” is all that’s required here. 

 

Remember this, a moving congregation is a happy congregation.  Halt that movement and you better have some loaves and fishes handy.

 

During flu season, a little bottle of hand-sanitizer is a must for after the meet-and-greet.  Though spreading the gospel is commanded – spreading the flu is not! ~Sister Patsy

 

Potluck Dinners

Potluck dinners and fellowship suppers bring out the best cooks in the congregation, but not necessarily the best manners.  I’d aim for the halfway point in the serving line.  There’s less elbowing in that position and a better chance of snagging some chocolate cake once you get to the table.

 

Someone Brings a Meal

Never sniff a gift dish. 

Wait until the giver walks away.

 

Brother Franklin always said that baptism made a huge impact on his life.  Of course, he’s saying that much less now that he can get around without the crutches. ~Sister Patsy

 

Baptism Etiquette

It’s not a good idea to hold a person underwater during a baptism just to make sure it really “takes.”

 

Outdoor Baptisms

Though this may seem obvious, outdoor baptisms are spring and summer events ONLY.  (Unless you feel a need to practice your hospital visiting skills.)

 

Sermon Structure

Fee free to try something new in the pulpit.  New suit.  New tie.  Try out a joke, or quote an obscure Christian author. 

 

We will follow you just about anywhere as long as you don’t mess with the sermon structure. 

 

Three points and a poem.  That’s what we like.  It’s in the Bible somewhere . . . Hezekiah, or Habakkuk maybe?

 

Now Preacher, it may have looked like I was sleeping last Sunday, but that was not the case.  Your sermon was so moving that I felt led to meditate right then and there, and I meditate best with my eyes closed. 

~Sister Patsy

 

VBS

Vacation Bible School is an excellent way to reach children in the community with the love of Jesus.  Many church members, adults and children, enjoy this program too.  Just make sure there are enough helpers and, for heaven’s sake, if there are animals involved – hold it outside!

 

Pastor Appreciation

Nobody would quarrel with the idea that preachers have a tough job and are often underpaid and underappreciated.  That said, it’s still a good idea to let your congregation show their appreciation for you in their own way.  A little gentle prodding from the elders and deacons would not be amiss, but be patient.  Having the praise team hum “Hail to the Chief” as you walk toward the pulpit might not generate the response you want.

 

Music

Just a word about music, Preacher.  I know this is a touchy subject, so I’ll stay away from all those controversial topics like hymns vs. choruses; pianos vs. guitars; and the question of whether drums are of the devil or not.  Praising the Lord in song is a beautiful thing.  But if you have a voice that frightens children and attracts crows, you might want to hire a good Worship Leader and mouth your praises during services.

 

I appreciated Brother Sherman’s special music last week.  He has a beautiful voice, and He Touched Me is one of my favorite songs.  Could someone please share with him that the church might not be ready for Christian performance art involving a Darth Vader costume?  ~Sister Patsy 

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